Sides

It’s interesting that people turn to social media to connect with others when really, they are disconnecting from others and themselves.  Who is being represented in your profile, in your posts, videos, etc. and which sides of yourself do you want others to see?

I want people to see me as a beautiful, talented, creative individual that loves nature.  

I love and accept myself to the way I am on the outside and the inside.  

I can create in many forms: music, art, photography, writing and more.

I enjoy visiting beautiful places in nature with my family.  We love to find things!  Rocks, mushrooms, edible plants…

What I want most is to represent myself in a new reality living in nature in the woods and the beach—anywhere we want!

There are obstacles to me accomplishing this. 

Obstacles within myself.  

One of the obstacles is Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder also known as PMDD.  I think of it as a really bad case of PMS. 

I am telling you this because I would like some help with it.  I see myself as a happy and positive person.  Often more positive than others and positive to a fault even if you see that as possible!

Right before my period I stop feeling positive and I often feel more irritable, moody, sad, and upset. 

I like to get through things like this in the most natural way possible and as you probably know, doctors aren’t about that.  

They want you to take prescription drugs for everything.  

I want to heal.

So, here is a side of me that I really don’t know what to do with.  Do I talk about it, do I not?  Will talking about it make me seem confusing and chaotic to other people?

Does it matter?

Do I matter?

I can tell you that it does matter and that I do matter. 

But what difference does that make?

How do I improve myself and my life?

When looking at this side of me I feel like I want help to accomplish my goal: to live in nature with my family and support myself and my family with my creative business and any other project that will suit me digitally so I can sustain the camping and traveling lifestyle. 

I’m in an online course right now about improving conscious business and one thing I wrote about as a limiting belief was that I didn’t know if I would be able to take care of myself when living on the road.  

I know the right tools, approach, and support are out in the world to help me with this.  

But I need that with me in my house.  Helping me declutter the majority of my belongings.  

I want to get this is done within a month.  The way my life is set up right now is not working for me.  

I’m not happy with it.  

This is where ‘positivity to a fault’ comes in.  

Tomorrow or the next day, my period will be over. I will feel good again.  Positive, happy, excited about life.  I’ll happily do the dishes, laundry, clean the house, take care of the animals, etc. 

I might ‘forget’ about my goal and go about daily life.  Decluttering here or there while still wanting to get rid of everything. But that desire to accomplish my goal shrinks and I proceed with day-to-day life with a family, part time job, and is that all there is?

Right now, it seems like it. 

But in a few days, there will be limitless possibilities, love, freedom, joy, acceptance, peace, tranquility, and support of loved ones.  

And I will be in recovery from PMDD symptoms.  

And I will be on the other side of myself.